A Tapered Mind

1. New York Groove by KISS.

2. Mueller Corner Cherry Yogurt. Mueller has made the genius move of actively (with a barrier) separating the yogurt from the fruit, so that you can mix to a consistancy of your pleasure.  Some may call this segregation, but I call it. Most. Delicious. Ever.

3. Geraldine by Glasvegas.

I always said I’d like to meet Paul Newman. He just seemed like a lovely guy. From his devotion to his wife and family, his philanthropic work, his damn fine salad dressings, his theatrical endeavors, and his determination to age with dignity, I think he must have been a very decent fellow.

And not a bad actor to boot.

Sadly, I will not get that chance to meet Mr. Newman, as he passed away yesterday at his home in Connecticut. Deepest condolences to his family and friends.

Because of unexpected, beautifully simple, moments like this:

Where two characters that you have come to cheer for (like Sam and Diane of Cheers) can share a moment so achingly ordinary/extraordinary that it makes your heart explode with joy.

Oh my goodness. What a happy happy Friday this be, and for it I have reasons three:

1. I kept down an entire piece of foccacia bread without throwing up! Take THAT stomach flu!

2. The Office, my favorite TV show in the world, has just started Season 5 and is FINALLY  back on iTunes so I can watch it!!! Wheeeeeeee!

3. I FINISHED MY DISSERTATION!!!! WOOOOOHOOOOO!!! I’ve even edited it through once. Now I just want to re-read it a couple of times (because on the inside, I want to fuckin’ rock this bitch, I worked hard enough).

So have a happy weekend peoples. Find reasons to celebrate. They’re out there.

Wow! 300 posts. That is 300 short to medium sized, often illustrated, diatribes about nothing.

That takes skill people. Skill.

Yes, as you may have judged from the title, I’m not going to discuss the BOMBSHELL that is Clay Aiken’s recent confession of gayness (I mean wow. This was even less surprising than Lance Bass. See you soon, Ricky Martin!)

I am instead going to discuss my stomach flu. Because you haven’t lived until you’ve vom’d up everything you’ve eaten in the past week! I’m now charmingly thin…and very, very weak.

I’m getting better. I’m not at death’s door. But as I sit here, alternating between editing my dissertation’s “academically themed” commentary (Freud can go fuck himself…and his mom…and whoever else he wants, the crazy old bastard) I’m thinking about the fact that I’ve been able to survive the past 72 hours consuming only:

2 litres water

1 litre orange juice

3 slices wheat toast

The human body is an amazing thing. I’m not going to be able to keep this up much longer (tomorrow I think I might venture a glass of milk, and something with vegetables in it – we’ll see!) it’s just interesting to see.

On a completely unrelated note, I was in bed last night and watched the 1st episode of the BBC’s new series Merlin and I totally love it! It’s like if Dawson’s Creek had been set in Camelot…and there was a freaking Dragon! How much better would Dawson’s Creek have been if there was a dragon in it! Just imagine…. “I don’t wanna wait – CHOMP! FIRE! DESTRUCTION!” – Series over.

(Oh I just read that Merlin is listed as being “in development” at NBC – cool!)

The only reason I am posting so much tonight (in case you were wondering) is that I finished the revisions of my dissertation (due in a week) and my brain is so shot I can’t focus on anything of importance until tomorrow, which is why I’m alternating between posting and watching episodes of Tess of the D’Urbervilles (eh) on the BBC iPlayer. But I just found what I want for my Halloween 2008 costume online – and I want someone in America to buy it and send it to me so I don’t have to shell out for it in pounds! CHECK IT OUT!

WONDER WOMAN! Oh man. I used to be Wonder Woman all the time for Halloween as a kid. But I had what was essentially a giant vinyl trashbag as a costume, and a cool plastic face. Kind of like this model! Zing! I think (because I have been working out like a beast – it’s the only free activity I can currently justify besides working on my dissertation) I can pull it off this year. I mean, I don’t have this model’s freaky boob job, or slightly “life-handed-me-lemons-so-I-ate-them” face. But I think it could look cool.

Except that cape. Wonder Woman didn’t have no goddamn cape! Amateurs.

Dear England (specifically London)

As my love life continues down its path of idiocy (aka the parable of the prodigal boy-friend who makes a brief appearance before fucking off again), I’d like to make a friendly suggestion….

Let us find a way to combine handsome (STRAIGHT please) men like actor Eddie Redmayne…

With the ball-busting hilarity that is this

To create a new species of ABC – or as the Burberry campaign called it, the Amazing British Chap. ABC peoples. Let’s get on this. SCIENCE!

On this, the first day of Autumn (my favorite season) I can say this was truly the summer of Robert Downey Jr.

From the Memorial Day kick-off, kick-ass of Iron Man to the summer-closing hilarity that was Tropic Thunder it’s good to have you back, Junior.

PS. He has NEVER been more alluring than as a blonde/blue-eyed Aussie method actor. Holy crap that movie was funny. “I don’t read the script. The script reads me.”

Of course, now that I’ve finally learned to braid my long hair, I’m thinking of cutting it.

I mean, not right now. I need to have it long at least through March, when I’m in my friend’s wedding.

I’m really on the fence about cutting it, which is a good reason I have another six months to mull it over. Part of me says “Look you finally have nice long hair to braid, and it’s very pretty so keep it on top of your head” while another part says “Donate your hair to Locks of Love and help people get cool wigs to wear after chemotherapy. Then have cool short hair you can get all spiky with.”

I like this haircut.

However, I am not a model. I have a slightly awkward face, which means short hair could simply be a vehicle for highlighting awkwardness.

Sigh.

Stay tuned. Or don’t. It’s not that important, really.

Having just been listening to new singles on both PerezHilton.com and Myspace.com I have decided the following grand sweeping statements are true:

The new Killers single (Human) sounds like New Order.

The new Keane single (Spiralling) sounds like Talking Heads.

Seriously, go to their respective websites and listen. I mean, both singles are REALLY GOOD and I’ll be buying the albums, but the sound resemblance (did I just make that up? Sound resemblance?) is uncanny.

I’m also glad the Killers have ended their “trash ’stache” phase of being. I liked it for a while (Hell, I think I wrote a post about it a year ago) but I’m glad to see them back to their clean shaven selves.