March 2007


My workload has been pretty light around the office recently, which has been both a blessing and a curse. Curse in that I’m often bored to tears, blessed in that now TV shows are being streamed online and I can watch them.

Such was the case the other day on imdb.com with “The Tudors” the new Showtime series starring Jonathan Rhys Meyers (he of dreamy accent, nice bone structure, and fatty fat lips) as a dashing young Henry VIII. Although riddled with historical bloopers, the show is pretty entertaining. It’s nice to see Sam Neill not looking embarassed by his work. However, I had forgotten taht since the show is meant to air on pay cable, the sex scenes (after all, there are 8 wives and numerous lovers to cover over the course of the series) are pretty graphic and raunchy. Not the best viewing at work.

Needless to say, I found that I can close a computer window pretty darn quickly, so that everyone in the office doesn’t write me off not only as lazy but a total pervert.

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People who work a few rows down from me are leaving.

Two people to be exact. Today is their last day and I’m seriously beaming with happiness. Not because they’ve really “wronged” me in any way, it’s just that they make personal phone calls all day long, and…..

They have the most irritating voices EVER.

She sounds like Minnie Mouse, even squealier and higher pitched.

He sounds like Truman Capote, except more whiny and nasal.

Is it wrong to hate people passionately just because of the sound of their voices? Oh well. They’re packing their desks up right now. Can you hear it? The sweetest sounds I’ve heard in a while.

I hate you Renee!!!

I don’t care if you have a baby. You’re mean, and a bad model.

But mostly, you’re mean.

“Once you have been tagged, you have to write a blog with ten weird or random things, facts, or habits about yourself. At the end, you choose ten people to be tagged, listing their names and why you tagged them.”

(Ok, I’ll play along. It’s not like I’ve been given any work to do…)

1) I think I’m a hilarious splice of my parents genetics. My mother in her youth had curly black hair, while my father had straight blonde hair. Mum’s eyes are green, Dad’s brown. Subsequently I ended up with wavy brown hair and hazel eyes. Pretty neat trick, DNA.

2) My big dream is to one day write and perform for movies and television, kind of like Mindy Kaling (Kelly on “The Office”) or Tina Fey or Emma Thompson. Those women who are smart enough to be writers, yet funny and charismatic enough to perform – those are my heroes.

3) I still haven’t read “Catcher In The Rye” and at this point, I’m afraid I’m too old and I’ll just think Holden Caulfield is a total douchebag. Am I wrong?

4) One time I drove 9 hours through the night just to spend a few hours with a friend I knew I wasn’t going to get to see again for a long time.

5) My favorite feature is the bridge of my nose. It is just dinged up enough without being broken. It hosts a smattering of freckles. It is just delightful.

6) A really weird habit I have is to just sit around and think about my name. Sometimes it strikes me as odd that my name is Jamie. I don’t know what else it would be, but I end up just saying my name in my head over and over as if hearing it for the first time. Then I wonder if it would throw people off if I were to change the spelling of my name to Jamey. It probably would.

7) When my grandmother was nearing the end of her life, she was losing a lot of her memory. We used to watch “Murder, She Wrote” together often, and sometimes she wouldn’t recall that we had seen the episode already, so I pretended to be really clever and “figure out” who the killer was within the first five minutes of the show!! I like to imagine that she thought she had an intelligent granddaughter. She is probably looking down on me from heaven and laughing her ass off!

8) I firmly believe Michael Jackson’s “Thriller” is the greatest song to dance to EVER.

9) I love comic books and superhero stuff. I used to wish I were a mutant so I could join the X-Men. I’m going to try and go to ComiCon in San Diego this summer with Peter and Kim.

10) Sometimes I worry that my dreams are too big and beautiful to fit into “real life” but that hasn’t stopped me from going after them full force. Only recently have I begun to really understand and embrace the concept of “carpe diem.”

So, who gets tagged?

Corey, Libby, Megan, Leigh, and Diana F. – because they’re the people who tell me they’ve actually read my nonsense blogs at some point. If more people actually do, feel free to go bananas with this, I just didn’t want to force you 🙂

Oh, I’m sorry. Did you miss this chapter in the bible? The parable of the prodigal bras? It’s an oldie, but a goodie. It goes like this:

A few weeks ago I got my laundry back from the cleaners (because I am now a fancy lady who pays strangers to wash her clothes – bougeois!) and found that my bras – count, about six of them – were missing. I tossed my room, thinking maybe they got misplaced when I put my shirts away. No good. I was so so sad. Six bras at todays’s prices (boys, when you next take off your girlfriends bra, be appreciative, cuz those suckers are not inexpensive) would be a dent in my paycheck to replace. I was reduced to going to the B-Squad of bras I’d had since high school and jr. high.

When I went to the laundromat to explain what happened, I was really nervous, because I knew this was an innocent mistake, that no one would really be pawning secondhand undergarments on the Upper East Side black market. How could I get reimbursed without coming off a complete jerk? The proprietress of the laundromat took my number and said they’d look for my bras. A week passed and nothing. I faced facts. I was going to have to shell out for a bunch of new bras because some crazy thief had my old ones!

I was completely down. Could anything else go wrong? As I packed my bag last night for the gym, I realized I needed a towel if I was going to go swimming so I grabbed my ratty old “Beauty and the Beast” (yeah, from the cartoon – so old, so awesome) towel, which had recently been washed and was about to re-fold it to fit in my gym bag when – lo and behold – all my missing bras fell out of the center of the towel!! They had been completely hidden inside!

My heart soared! My property returned to me! Now I don’t have to shell out all that cash to replace them! I feel complete once again. And I also don’t have to be a bitch to the laundromat workers, which is a relief.

Taking a page from the blog of Miss Katie Cheek, I too am encouraging the world, nay the galaxy, to go to BAM before March 31st and see the dance version of “Edward Scissorhands” directed and choreographed by that genius (and I don’t use that term lightly) Matthew Bourne.

*Warning* This show has no words. It’s not the movie on stage. It’s a gorgeous and unique dance play that uses the movie as its inspiration and basis, but makes an impression all its own.

Matthew Bourne (with whom I’m somewhat enamored) is the brilliant mind who created the all-male “Swan Lake”, the auto-erotic “Car Man” as well as the delightful new “Nutcracker” and the piece that truly changed my views on theatre…”Play Without Words”

So between incredible music (a blend of the Danny Elfman score and new compositions) mind blowing set pieces, and joyous movements you really can’t miss out. I’m totally going back to see it again, if you want to come with.

(PS. There are two young men who dance the part of Edward – I saw Sam Archer, and he’s brilliant. An incredible dancer, and he looks like one of my dearest friends, but complete with dreamy English accent!)

I am such a huge fan of solo concert-going. While it’s still a blast to go with friends, there’s something really nice about just having a night to enjoy live music alone.

Last night I saw The Shins at Madision Square Garden. They were terrific! I actually think they might sound better live, without that extra tweaking from computers in the producing studio. And they played EVERY SINGLE SONG that I had hoped to hear, which almost never happens. They seem like really nice guys, joking around and laughing together on stage, as if they were playing some small Portland coffee house, rather than one of the most awe-inspiring venues in the US! So lovely, such a blast!

The only down side (and really, this would have freaked anybody out a bit) was the fact that I was seated in a very tiny box with two makey-outey teenage couples, who were clearly excited to find another dark spot filled with music to make out in. One couple was pretty cute, while I was concerned the other were going to conceive their first child mere inches away from my purse. Yikes. But who can blame them, when such great music is in the air?

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