Dear other company I am temping for,

Imagine a world. A world without “customer service.” Wait, just close your eyes. Can you see it? It’s beautiful.

Now in this world, people aren’t stupid enough to buy your product in the first place. But also, they realize that you never get something for nothing, that “free” is the most expensive thing you can buy. So they don’t call your main hotline number expecting to have all their problems solved. They realize that when you say you’re “a temp, I don’t work here” that means you have no fucking clue how to help them. They’re nice to the poor kid on the other end of the phone. And they don’t call back FIVE separate times, leaving you NINE phone numbers where they can be reached, because they must sort out their CD order (whoops did I give too much away?) right this very instant.

Also you aren’t relieved for lunch by some lazy fish of a woman at 3pm.

Sigh.

A beautiful vision of an impossible future. Where people aren’t freaking NUTS and remember to treat others with patience and  courtesy.

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