Dear Faux Hipster/Hippie Kid on the 6 Train,

GROSS!!! Did you think no one saw you?! Because I did, young man, and frankly I am disgusted. You did not pick your nose once, no, that would have been too simple and discreet, you picked your nose from 23rd to 51st streets, and then proceeded to EAT your boogers!! How old are you?!? Even with your trendy hip blazer and protest buttons, your wild untamed hair, you cannot hide what you are and that is a nose-picking-booger-snacker! You were really digging for gold there, dude. Quite a knuckleduster. Glad your pointer finger didn’t get stuck.

Hope to never have to witness that again,

Jamie C. Wylie, Passenger of 6 Train