Lucy Liu! Seriously! Cut it out!

It was nice seeing you at the store. It was a pleasure to sell you that Lavender soap. You have an adorable dog and a great haircut. You were so much nicer than the non-famous people. I enjoy our friendship.

But now I’m seeing you everywhere.

Why did you follow me into the Virgin megastore?

You were sitting behind us at “Pirates of the Carribbean” the entire time?!?

Lucy, you are so nice. You were the shit in “Kill Bill.” But you’re moving much too fast for me. I need to put the brakes on this blossoming friendship. So please, for the sake of all involved, kindly stop following me everywhere.

However……Can you introduce me to sexy celebrity people?

Advertisements