April 2007


I love The Killers. Straight up. I’m not one of those kids who pretends to be really into the newest under-the-radar hipster band because it makes them seem cooler. NO WAY JOSE!! I love my hugely mainstream pop to the point where I wear it proudly across my chest in a souvenir tour T-shirt.

Last night, I saw The Killers for the 4th time (judge as you will). But you know what? Every single time, I have an incredible time, and make more fantastic memories!! Here’s a brief history of me and those boys from Vegas.

1.) First concert: in VA. Went with my brother, just us. The beginning of summer, an outdoor venue, with lawn seats and margaritas (that were grossly expensive). What made the concert one for the ages was that Regina Spektor, Maximo Park and Keane (all incredible artists in their own right) opened the show. All the music was fucking phenomenal!!! What made the concert so special to me was that I got to share it with my brother and we have that really awesome memory together. Cheesy, but true. So every time I go to a Killers concert now, I text message him and say “Wish you were here!!”

2.) Second concert: The theatre at Madison Square Garden, NYC. The theatre is a smaller house within the giant stadium complex of MSG. I went alone, my first time doing so to a concert. It was fantastic! I had great seats and danced until I could hardly stand. I also discovered that when you buy a gin and tonic from the vendors there, you get a light up swizzle stick (which my father collects, so I gave those to him) which you can wave around and it looks super cool. Also this was the first leg of the “Sam’s Town” tour so this is where my love of their music was solidified.

3.) Third Concert: same place, the next day. Yeah, I went two days in a row! But I got to take Boots to his first concert with Lex, and seeing his brain get blown out of his skull with wonder much like mine had at my first concert with really great! I felt very big sisterly.

4.) Last night, the ARENA (much bigger than the theatre) at Madison Square Garden!!! They sold out the arena!! A huge venue, but the quality of performance was just as dedicated as its been with smaller houses! The Killers really have a knack for making everyone in the audience (the thousands of us!) feel really included and excited to be there! (And I swear Brandon Flowers can always find me in the audience and make eye contact. At least once a show. I’m delusional. But he’s one of a very select group of men I would break my “Never Make A Play for Another Woman’s Man” rule for.) Before the Killers went on, we were treated to a performance by The Silver Beats, a Beatles cover band from….JAPAN!! And they sounded exactly like the Beatles!! Rocking out at MSG! It was like being in a time warp, as if I were experiencing this moment in musical history back in the 60’s rather than today. The only word to describe it is magical.

So thanks Killers. You guys are my favorite. I’ll try and catch you again soon. Maybe we can meet up in London next time?

I took this!! Yay!!

First and foremost, I love Hugh Grant. “About A Boy” is one of my favorites. But once, just once, I would like to see him get arrested for a REAL crime, not something so fucking hilarious and stupid you can’t help but shake your head and smile! Let’s reflect:

1. There was that time when he cheated on one of the hottest women in the world to get serviced by a menacing looking “lady of the night” named Divine. I mean, what the heck where you thinking, sir? That little tryst resulted in this really becoming headshot…I mean, mugshot.

(That’s right. I went to www.mugshots.net)

2. And now, oh this is the BEST. MSN.com reports “Hugh Grant has been arrested for allegedly throwing a container of baked beans at a photographer, London police said.” Hugh, from now on, I beg you, if you’re going to get hauled off to jail, I want you to have straight up murdered someone’s ass!!! (Not me). The fact that you keep getting arrested has a charming, Robert Downey Jr.-esque quality to it, but the crimes are so lame, you lose all your street cred!! May I suggest for the future:

1.) Kidnap a co-star. Hold for a ransom below your usual movie asking price.

2.) Bank robbery, Thomas Crown-style.

or 3.) Beat the shit out of whoever greenlit “Mickey Blue Eyes”

Maybe it’s the fact that one of my best friends is about to become a parent.

Maybe the article I read today on MSN.com has something to do with it.

Little girls are changing, that much is for sure. But not in a good way. They’ve gone from games of princess to games of slutbucket. And while no one can point to a specific person or thing (former teen icons like Britney Spears, provocative clothes like those stupid shorts with stuff like “Angel” or “Spoiled” written in sparkles on the butt) and say “That is the problem” there are some absurd things in toy stores today.

And that is what brings me to the Bratz dolls.

Now if I saw a girl like that at a bar, I would think she was kind of a dumb skank. Straight up. Yes, that is judging a book by its cover, but when the cover dresses itself in absurd clothes, it demands attention, so I pass judgement upon it. Can anyone honestly expect to not be laughed at when they wear a sparkly idiot shirt, and more makeup than any transvestite? Is this the kind of girl they want to grow up to be?? I’m not saying every woman should aspire to be a doctor, lawyer, or President. I’m just saying she should respect herself and maintain her dignity!! Playing with dolls is not the problem. I played with Barbies too. But my Barbies were superhero girls more like:

Who would only go out in a fancy (not tarty) party dress after she had saved the world. Maybe it’s just the way I was raised, but I wonder if this kind of tricked-out-party-girl image is going to seriously fuck up the next generation. Are clothes and makeup all that matter?

Last week, a little bubble popped up on my computer. It said “Meeting with Kathleen” (the boss) “April 25th, 9:30am. Do You Accept?”

Did I really have a choice to refuse a meeting with my boss? Every few days a reminder bubble would pop up and I would quickly quash it! Am I getting fired? Too much time spent blogging? I can’t be let go yet, I’ve got a tuition to pay off!!

So this morning, I was busy thinking about Michael’s birthday (Happy Birthday Mike!) when the bubble popped up again. “Meeting in 30 Minutes” OH NO. I emailed my supervisor and asked if he knew why I had to meet with the big boss. He said it was no big worry, meetings like this are just for checking in, seeing how my project is progressing. I quietly slipped downstairs and did the best I could to fix my mess of hair in the ladies room. I saw Kathleen go into her office, before her voice boomed “Jamie.”

I came in. “Hi” I murmured. “Grab a seat.” she instructed. I did. Peter, another temp, came in with pen and paper. Shit. I should have brought pen and paper too! Dammit!

“This” Kathleen began, “is a ruse. Do you know what that means?”

“It’s a….trick.” I said. Peter and I exchanged looks.

“Correct! We are actually here to let you know how much we really appreciate the work you guys do for us.” And with that she handed us REALLY NICE gift certificates to Whole Foods (super gourmet foodshops) and little bags of candy (gummy gems! With super-cool light up tongs to grab them with, so it looks like your candy is glowing!).

I was (and am still, as it’s only 9:55) really floored. Isn’t that so nice? I’m really touched. Nobody had to do that, to acknowledge a temp, but they did and in a kind way. So as I move on in a month, I’ll always remember that this company was really great to me. And they also tricked me. In a nice way.

Oh Jimmy. Jimmy Jimmy. Who wrote that song about you? Spin Doctors?

I used to think you were such an idiot. I don’t know why I singled you out specifically over say, Lois Lane, or Perry White, or the bazillion other people who live in Metropolis, but it’s probably because you see Clark Kent and Superman on a daily basis, and STILL cannot tell his only disguise is a pair of glasses!! How could you be so blind (pun accidental, but being left in during editing anyways)!!?? It’s not like I put on my glasses and my roommate comes home and gets embarassed because she thinks she’s in the wrong apartment!

But now…I understand. Because I have the same problem, except with buildings instead of people. It happened last month when I walked by my office building, not recognizing this place that I go five times a week because…there was a scaffold covering part of it.

A SCAFFOLD?!?!

God I’m stupid. How could I let a stupid little bit of pipe and wire conceal an entire building and fool me!!!? I mean, I didn’t just sort of get confused, I walked straight past the building up a block until I realized I had reached Rosa Mexicana, the point of no return. Then I sheepishly turned around, pantomiming to no one in particular that I had “forgotten” something (where? what? who knows?! I had to save my pride) and rushed into the building. I wonder if the guy at the front desk saw me stroll by earlier? Probably not, but I’m sure he judges me just like I judged Jimmy Olsen, just the same.

Last night I had the pleasure of seeing the most awesome musical to grace the stage since “We Will Rock You” (and coming from me, that is a high and sincere compliment).

Gutenberg! The Musical! chronicles the epic (fictional) story behind the invention of that revolutionary tool…the printing press!! It was amazing and hysterically funny. I can’t rave enough, but let me just refer you to the website:

http://www.gutenbergthemusical.com

I encourage all of you to check it out, and when you do, to bring me along so I can see it again. The music is incredible (you leave the theatre humming the tunes between giggles) and the cast is so talented that even though you suspect they’re gay, you develop crushes on their talent.

Bob Newhart is a man who is onto something.  He burst forth onto the comedy scene with his comedy album, “The Button Down Mind” (whose title this blog humbly usurps for its own diabolical purposes). Mr. Newhart’s comedic style is reminiscent of a button down shirt: casual and comfortable yet classy and respectable.

I love button down shirts. Achilles has his heel, Superman his Kryptonite, and I have button down shirts. As the weather heats up and gentlemen in New York begin to shed their suit jackets, I just think everyone looks so much nicer. A button down shirt can be crisp and dressy, making everyone look a little snazzier, or it can be soft and rumply, like you just rolled out of bed and threw it on to pop down to the corner for a bagel. Girls, don’t you love to borrow your boyfriend’s button down? Guys, don’t you love it when they do? All of humanity looks cuter in button downs. While I’m not advocating a burning of other styles (don’t get me started on how much I love those soft gray track T-shirts!), I’m just saying that for us stuck in the working world, they’re a nice little way to look less crappy.

A J.Crew shirt everyone will look good in

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