I went to church with my parents this morning for Easter, and as I was mentally drifting away during the sermon, I began to think back to 1st grade. How cute I was (in a chubby, gap-toothed kind of way) back then!

I began to remember how in Mrs. Bowers class, we decided to sing the Lord’s Prayer (Episcopalian School) and add the always jazzy element of…a tambourine!! (It really was like that movie “A Mighty Wind” but with a bunch of six year olds) But who would play the tambourine? Who would have that glorious honor? There would have to be auditions to decide who could do it best.

I didn’t really want it. I decided, that instead of listening while other children tried it out, I would sit and whisper with my friends instead, a much more productive, thoughtless way of passing the time. When the tambourine was passed around to me, I figured I would just mess up, pass it to the next kid, and get to sit down and resume my in-depth conversation about My Little Pony dolls, and how their glittery manes were out of this world! I was handed the tambourine and stood up. I remembered bits of the song from having heard the kids before me go, and I half-heartedly beat out the tune. Then I stopped. I don’t know why. I didn’t remember anything else so I just stopped…

Obviously the silence was CRAZY awkward, so I timidly began to beat the same tune out again. Finally I thrust the tambourine into a classmates hand and sat down.

Needless to say, the teacher later said, and I swear to God I had no idea “Only Jamie remembered to put that pause in that I told you guys about. Good listening Jamie.” And subsequently I was anointed the tambourine player for the musical remix of the Lord’s Prayer. I became incredibly popular and my life really took off at that point. But I didn’t deserve it! I am a tambourine fraud! Hopefully confessing on Easter will clear my guilty, dirty, six year old conscience…and I never picked up a tambourine again.