Remember that song “You’re So Vain?” (It’s a Carly Simon joint – I just referenced Carly Simon and Spike Lee in the same parenthesis…go me!). She says the line “You gave away the things you loved and one of them was me / I had some dreams there were clouds in my coffee, clouds in my coffee….” Well, first and foremost, I used to think, and I’m sure I’m not alone here, that she said “Clowns in my coffee” which, honestly Carly, is a much more frightening and visceral image, something combining Starbucks with Stephen King’s “It.” Consider a remix. (PS. I just found a cartoon online illustrating my exact point, nice to see original thought is in fact, dead.)

Anywho, the point I wanted to bring up is the idea of seeing weird shit (like clowns) in places they shouldn’t be (your coffee). The corkboard of my desk at work, I have just realized, is the ugliest fucking thing I have ever seen. It’s a dark shade of khaki with lighter shades of khaki making crazy shapes all over it, dotted with even lighter shades of brown on top of that. It’s indescribably hideous. As the day wears on, and I feel like I’m getting more worn down and tired, I’m starting to see crazy images in the shapes. I see human noses, dragons, hi-top sneakers, Abraham Lincoln, and a few positions I recognize from the Cosmo Kama Sutra. It is WEIRDSVILLE, U.S.A.

So I will continue to sit here, listening to Orson’s “No Tomorrow” (good good music) , dreaming of the writing/performing career I want in the future, and hoping I don’t keel over and die from boredom before I can achieve it.