I buy a new swimsuit, oh, every 5 years or so. Apparently that is not normal, considering how much I swim, both at the pool and the beach. My mother says it’s average to basically go through 1 or 2 suits every 2 years because chlorine and sand do a lot of wear and tear to fabric. That’s crazy Mom!! Considering what swimsuits cost nowadays, that is straight-up crazy like Paula Abdul is crazy.

*Note: The last swimsuit I bought was at Old Navy on clearance for $20 5 years ago. Mom bought me a suit two years ago, I think out of pity.

But now, as summer creeps in like a teenager after dawn, I realize I can’t put it off any longer, I need a new swimsuit. BLAST! The good news is, I’m not one of those girls who freaks out and goes into a tailspin at the prospect of buying one. And even better, I was browsing around online today and found the cutest suit I have ever seen! Check it:

It’s very 40’s siren. And I’m ok with that. I really really dig the amount of coverage, after a few instances last summer of forgetting my rash guard and getting some nasty bumps on my stomach after boarding.

I just love it! It’s pretty and modest and flattering. And I saw it was on sale! Oh happy day! Could this BE more perfect?!?! “Today I become a woman” I thought to myself, as I clicked on the window to see what sizes were still in stock.

The only size available was 24.

Ok, so that’s, like, well, about 14 sizes too large. Damn it.