Spears Asks Fans to Name Her New Album
Jun 14, 10:57 AM EST
Lindsay Lohan and her personal problems have enlivened the punch lines of late-night TV hosts. Now, Britney Spears is taking a turn.

In a posting on her Web site titled, “You’ll Never See It My Way, Because You’re Not Like Me,” the 25-year-old pop princess asks her “most die-hard fans” to help name her upcoming album.

One potential title is a joke about Lohan: “Omg Is Like Lindsay Lohan Like Okay Like.” Other possibilities: “What If the Joke Is on You,” “Down Boy,” “Integrity” and “Dignity.”

Members of Spears’ fan club can cast their votes on the Web site.

Leslie Sloane Zelnik, a spokeswoman for both Spears and Lohan, didn’t immediately respond Thursday to an e-mail seeking comment.

First of all, I pity this Leslie Sloane Zelnik character. Sure, she’s probably a millionaire many times over, but I’m sure the pressure of dictating spin control for two of America’s most stupid and fucked up girls is taking years off her life.

Second, uh Britney? Hilary Duff already used “Dignity” to title her album. Keep up with the competition here. What? Oh, I forgot, you were in rehab when Hilary’s album dropped. Oh, no, Hilary hasn’t been to rehab. She also doesn’t have two babies that she leaves locked in the bottom dresser drawer when she goes out to get trashed and party while her clothes fall off her body. You silly cow.

(I’m just guessing about the bottom dresser drawer thing. But that’s the only one where you can fit two babies.)

If you needed help titling your new album, why didn’t you just ask me? How about:

* Low-budget weave

* My behavior makes Whitney Houston seem in control of her life

*We forgot Kevin! (And on the cover she’d be holding her face and screaming, Macaulay Culkin style…because one screwed-up child star should always reference another)