You can’t make this stuff up. And, to make it even more ludicrous, items #1 and #2 were on the SAME BUS. (Which leaves me to wonder if I can ever ride the M15 again.)

#1. Morbidly Obese Ghetto Lesbians. The greatest four words since “Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles” the Morbidly Obese Ghetto Lesbians were my first absurd encounter on the bus. Taking up 1.5 seats each and talking loudly about their impending vacation, and snacks they wanted to pack (“I want M&M’s” “Girl you got a bunch of fuckin’ Cracker Jacks at home” “Oh yeah. But I want chocolate”) were very strange. However, their cuddling was sort of cute. And weird. Because nobody really cuddles on the bus anymore. Especially not crazy women in skintight clothes I would not recommend they wear. But even they MOGL couldn’t help but stare when onto the bus stepped…

#2. The Crying Angry Child with an Excellent Vocabulary. I’m guessing this girl was about 6 years old. And I’m not quite sure what she was so upset about, but she was screaming at her mother “You’re a fraud! A Fraud!!! I hate you! You’re not my mother anymore!! I don’t love you! Fraud!!” I guess I was so impressed this kid could use “fraud” correctly in a sentence at her age I didn’t mind that she was screaming so loudly my ears bled. The mother did a really smart thing though, because even though her daughter was screaming “I hate you!!” for the whole bus to hear, she just kept responding “Well that’s too bad because I love you anyway” where I would have probably shaken my child and thrown her from the moving bus.

#3. (Not as exciting) Business Man wearing one brown loafter and one white sneaker. I just don’t know what to make of this. He wasn’t crazy or homeless. Maybe he was colorblind? Or quirky? It really threw me for a loop.