How do you sleep? When you’re alone? When it’s really hot or cold? Do you even notice, because, hey, you’re asleep?

I DO. I NOTICE.

I have two distinct sleeping styles, which I call “Superman” and “The Burrito.”

Superman is reserved for hot weather, when all you want is to spread out and be alone and let your body absorb as much cool air as possible. It’s like you’re flying, spread out, with one leg curled under, and one arm shooting outward, like so:

Just imagine that on a bed. That is my Superman sleeping style.

When the cold months come, and all you want to do is be cozy, that’s when I become my alter-ego, The Burrito, known for stealing all of the blankets and rolling myself up in them so that they cannot be shared with anyone else. This makes me less fun to sleep with in the winter because I don’t give a damn (subconsciously, of course) if your ass freezes to death. Because I have taken all the blankets, and wrapped myself up in them. In fact, on more than one occaison, I have needed help in the morning coming out of my burrito cocoon. Viva le Burrito!

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