I’ve got what I lovingly refer to as “the shakes.” Which means, I’m really really cold, drank far too big a cup of coffee, and have been awake for 24 hours.


I went to that party I mentioned last night (equipped with fabulous eyelashes) and it was awesome. Good people, good music, good times. I meant to leave around 12:30, but because the host called me “a foolish bitch who was dead to (me) him” I stayed. And I’m really glad I did because it was a blast. But I didn’t leave his house until about 4:30am. When I got back to my apartment building, I discovered that in the joy of primping to go out, I’d forgotten to put my keys in my purse! (me = complete idiot).

I pounded on the door. No answer. I knew three of my four housemates were staying elsewhere and the last guy is pretty useless so I was definitely screwed.

Luckily this super nice girl who was also at the party and lives in my building said I could crash on her floor until morning when I could go to the landlord and get let back in.

I tried to sleep on her floor, but with only a jacket for a blanket I spent the entire time awake and shivering! Around 8am I couldn’t take it anymore, wrote her a quick thank you note and slipped out, downstairs to the landlord’s apartment. I buzzed and his wife answered.

“He’s not here” she mumbled, when I asked if I could see Jeremy to get let back in.

“At 8am on a Sunday morning?”


“When is he coming back?”

“He should be up by 10.”

Now the fact that she said UP and not BACK leads me to believe that my landlord’s wife is also a lying dickhead and he was too lazy to get up. So basically I’ve been wandering around North London in my clothes from last night, having not slept and freezing to death. But I’m honestly ok. Because my dear dear friend Barrie got engaged last night to a wonderful man who loves her. So that makes up for all the crazy fucking stuff I’ve been up to the past few hours.

When I finish typing this, I’m going to storm back to my landlord and demand to be let into my place. Then I’m taking a long hot bath and sleeping until I’m 27.