My best friend used to LOVE Good Charlotte – or I should say – she used to love the Madden Brothers, twins Joel and Benji ,who front the pop-punk outfit. Awwww. Just look at ’em. With their tough-guy poses and smooshed-up little faces. Hey, is that my eyeliner? You guys! You smudged it!

(Not my type at all, but hey, different strokes)

Anyways, now she HATES them. Because Joel was foolish enough to forget to use protection with Nicole Richie (spawning a baby whose names sounds suspiciously like “harlot”) and now Benji is just putting his genitals through a game of Russian Roulette by daring to “date” Paris Hilton! And wear the ugliest looking ring (with “PH” in diamonds) on his wedding finger! God’s speed boys. You’re gonna need it.

The funniest part is that the brothers Madden are (as my BF told me) from Waldorf, Maryland!! A hilariously stupid part of the state which I used to drive past regularly. And to end this blog on an even more awkward note, I have in fact met Benji Madden and had a really unimpressive conversation with him about it.

My BF asked me to go with her to a Good Charlotte concert about five years ago. I didn’t know any better at the time, so I said sure. After the concert, she went off in pursuit of Joel (her preference) and I sort of dilly-dallied about. When Benji surfaced from backstage, I said “WALDORF!” He seemed taken aback. But he came over to talk/flirt unsuccessfully. The conversation went something like this:

B: You know Waldorf?

J: I grew up around Alexandria.

B: Alexandria!! No way! So cool – what part?

J: Uhm, my parents live around Mount Vernon and my high school was near Old Town.

B: Old Town!

J: Yes.

B: King Street!

J: Yes.

B: King Streeeeeet!

J: Well, it was nice to meet you, have a good tour. bye bye.