The critics have slated the Wachowski Brothers Speed Racer film. This lambasting, coupled with the movie’s inability to find a niche audience that isn’t a seven year old boy has guaranteed it won’t surpass the current box office champion Iron Man and might even (please God no) come in behind the Cameron Diaz-Ashton Kutcher disasterbag What Happens in Vegas.

Ok, the movie is too long (over 2 hours) and doesn’t make a whole lot of sense. It’s jumbly and the dialogue is absurd. But it’s FUN! It’s like Pirates of the Caribbean fun – it’s exhilarating, brightly colored fluff. I mean, what are they expecting in a movie (that looks like a video game) based on a cartoon about a race car driver? This isn’t No Country for Speed Racer it’s not a sweeping period drama. It’s pure eye candy. And I’m not just talking about the race sequences. I’m talking about Matthew Fox, in the best shape of his life to portray Racer X!

Whew. During his big ninja fight I was quite impressed, with both his ninja skills and his slammin’ physique. I think the producers of LOST should take note how good he looks with slightly longer hair and no stubble. Just think about it J.J. Abrams. Do it for the ladies.