June 2008


I can’t get the theme from TETRIS out of my head!

“dum dum dum dum, dum dum dum, dum dum dum, dum dum dum, dee dum dum dum da dum…”

Oh man. Those were the days. And by days I mean the 90s. He’s still funny. But he looks like a totally different person!

Wouldn’t it be amazing if he bumped Valerie Burtinelli as the new Jenny Craig person (or, wait, is Queen Latifah now the JC girl? I can’t keep track…) and got super svelte again?

Mayhaps I am in the wrong though. Maybe slim Vince is really just pumped full of cocaine, and the Vince we see before us today is really the healthy, happy one. If that is the case….whoops.

On Thursday, a very important person passed away.

Her name was Peggy. She was a member of my family, who loved us unconditionally and took the best care of us anyone could ever imagine.

She was a spitfire. She loved country music, pink wine, her husband Wilbur, their cat Bubba and eating at Lenny’s (not Denny’s). Peggy kept photos of all the people she loved in view. There was always food or candy on offer. She didn’t put up with nonsense, and could always tease as good as she got. She saved my brother’s life, and never asked for anything.

Peggy was an incredible woman. My heart aches just to realize that I won’t get to see her again, at least not in this life. She’s with the rest of the angels now, probably teaching them to dance or something. Love you.

Hello loyal readers (all four of you)

I’m still busy and not in the greatest place (see next post) but I thought I would let you know what to think (because that’s what you come here for, right?) about this crop of summer movies.

INDIANA JONES – and the Kingdom of the huge letdown movie. I’m sorry Harrison. I wanted to love it so badly. But when you run away from a Rocky and Bullwinkle-esque Cate Blanchett and find the glowing skull of ET, thanks to a walking old exposition device (way to go John Hurt) I just can’t support that. And the flesh eating ants were a bit extreme. But I love you and Karen Allen. And your son is HOT.

SEX AND THE CITY – I’m so ashamed of the female sex. Are we really that materialistic, self-absorbed, and not funny? (Don’t answer that). I found myself completely siding with Mr. Big! And the fashion sucked. Sorry. Friends don’t let friends wear heinous wedding dresses.

THE INCREDIBLE HULK – much better than the first one. Woo hoo!

KUNG FU PANDA – Amazing. So cool. Jack Black was born to play an animated panda, and I mean that with all due respect. However, my favorite character was Seth Rogen as the Mantis. Lets just say his take on acupuncture was fantastic.

Uhm, is that all I’ve seen? That’s all I can remember right now. Let’s talk about the next big ones to see.

WANTED – is what you are James McAvoy. By me. So bad. I….fancy…..you…and your ass kicking moves!

BURN AFTER READING – Looks amazing.

MAMMA MIA – I’m seriously worried that it may become my favorite movie ever. I mean, if the trailer makes me so giddily, stupidly happy, how can the film not fulfill my every need?

THE DARK KNIGHT – Duh.

STEP-BROTHERS – I will follow Will Ferell and John C. Reilly wherever they go.

TROPIC THUNDER – Oh my god. If you haven’t, go to ITunes and watch the red band trailer. This is seriously the funniest looking film in a loooong time. A career defining performance from Robert Downey Jr. I couldn’t stop laughing. Can’t wait. Throw in Jack Black (riffing on Eddie Murphy) and a super in-shape Ben Stiller (being sort of attractive? I don’t understand) and we have the makings of genius. Zoolander cometh again.

Lots of work.

But don’t worry, I have lots of emotional baggage to unload on you.

Soon.