March 2009


 A dear friend who lives in L.A. is a health nut. And because she takes such good care of herself, she is super healthy, very fit and pretty, and generally of good cheer. And part of me really envies her macrobiotic diet and commitment to practicing yoga. And part of me will never be that person. A very large part. Ok, the entirety of my being. I would like to be though   Just can’t.

I like to walk. And lift weights. Play sports. And you know how I like to celebrate such athletic achievements? By EATING CHEESEBURGERS  And washing them down with chocolate milkshakes, with a McNuggetini kicker. Heck ya.

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President Obama is doing a great job  In high school, we are taught to save the topic sentence until the end of the first paragraph, but fuck that. My topic sentence is first and foremost, and I am going to say it again, President Obama is doing a great job 

8% of the American workforce is jobless right now. Not Mr. O’s fault. He inherited a clusterfuckery of a financial crisis from that other guy (why bother saying the name? Might as well call upon “Candyman” or “Beetlejuice” in terms of them being useful political figures) and has made colossal efforts to move the nation in the right direction. Fought to pass the stimulus. Just like he said he would. Check.

Laying down definitive plans for pulling the troops out of Iraq, and returning the focus of diplomatic relations to Afghanistan. Just like he said he would. Check.

So he’s doing very well for the 1st 50 days of a seriously difficult Presidency. Those who say otherwise, what have you been doing with yourself for the last 50 days? Check.

PS. On an economic side note, why the fuck isn’t Bernie Madoff being taken for everything he owns?!? Him and his wife, who as his book keeper, had to know what he was doing. Somebody needs to kick his ass inside and out. With steel toed boots. Topped with lazers. Liquidate his assets (EVERYTHING) and divide them amongst the people whose lives he ruined. There’s a good start.

Greetings from the tiny corner of my brain that has brutishly forced out every iota of common sense that was squatting there. That is the tiny corner where the senseless girlish glee lives, and now it has taken over.

One of my best friends got married Saturday (Congratulations ) And being a very honored member of the wedding party means kicking the girlish glee into high gear. Hair, nails, dresses, shoes, makeup, jewelry, and all such things. I packed a big ass bag of lipgloss and sparkly things into a small suitcase, and it was wholly satisfying. 54 bobby pins to hold up a crazy hairstyle. Makeup from a professional. Dancing with cute boys. Almost crying at how happy and beautiful the couple are. All that good stuff.

I should actually take care of myself more often. You know, make attempts to look human? Maybe. I’ll try to keep it up. Brush my hair, smack on some gloss or mascara.

Or….I’ll return to being the rough (but loveable?) hooligan that I am. At least until September 26th. That’s the next wedding I’m in.