Dear Green Hornet Movie,

Since you have foolishly let Stephen Chow slip out of your fingers as both director AND Kato, I have a few suggestions.

1.) Get Stephen Chow back in both jobs. Michel Gondry is a talented guy, but has yet to deliver as a director (purely opinion, obviously others will disagree) and Chow’s “Kung Fu Hustle” and “Shaolin Soccer” are f’ing classics. He knows how to do action/funny like nobody else.

2.) Do NOT cast Nicolas Cage as the villian!

3.) Don’t cast Cameron Diaz as Seth Rogen’s love interest! I don’t mind Ms. Diaz but just picturing her and Rogen gives my stomach the queasies. No mas.