Sorry to have been away so long, friends. I mean, I have a job too (quitting soon, I promise) that tends to keep me away from my precious observations and commentary on life. But I’ve got a few things that have been sitting on the back burner (of the stovetop of my mind) ready to be served up hot to you.

So check this out. Random Acts of Badassness, straight from Lun-dun! Yeah. Innit. 

1.) Apparently Dame Judi Dench was nearly mowed down by a black cab while boppin’ around Shaftesbury Ave for play rehearsal (DJD totally bops). The cabbie yelled “Watch where you’re going you stupid cunt” to which DJD quickly replied “THAT’S DAME CUNT TO YOU!”

Heart beats faster. Her place as my idol as just been set in stone and covered in whipped cream and cherries. Well played.

2.) Though I do not condone acts of violence, I can’t stop laughing at this photograph of Jude Law ninja chopping some paparazzi lady as he left the theatre the other night:

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Jude says it was an accident as he was blinded by camera flash (which happens to me pretty much anytime a picture is taken) he just looks so rageful and Wolverine-esque that it makes me laugh every time.

“Can I take your picture, Mr. La-”

“SKA-DOOSH!”

(Chop)

“My neck!”

Just like that time I was getting a massage and the lady punched me in the neck. It was just to relieve stress, she said.

 

PS. I am not the mysterious woman having Jude Law’s baby. Because I know that’s what you were thinking.

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