….or maybe his sidekick in food testing. Because he seems awesome. Look how cool he is! Yes, at first glance, he may look like a cast-off from the Ed Hardy roadshow, but if you just listen to him, you can see that not only is he a very intelligent and talented chef, but HE LOVES FOOD. And you gotta love a guy who loves food and wants to share that love with others.


My current situation leaves me with time in the late evenings to keep my mother company. Our way of bonding is to watch Food Network Late Night (which sounds sketchy, ie, “Skinemax” but is actually very wholesome) especially the incredible show Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives which is hosted by Mr. Fieri, and features him driving all over the country eating amazing, gooey, fried, delicious foods. Then he interviews the chefs, gets a few recipes, and speaks to some of the patrons (who are usually hilarious stereotypes of people from whatever region he’s in, such as Southerners, Bostonians, Californians and New Yorkers). It’s INCREDIBLE. He eats burritos, Thai soups, giant cheeseburgers, waffles, you name it, he will eat it. Mr. Fieri even does this move, when the food is too big to fit in his mouth, where he kind of hunches over it like a dinosaur and attacks it from the top.  Truly awe-inspiring.

When Mom and I were watching it Monday (10pm EST, Food Network) I casually said “I would totally be his assistant” and she said I should be his location scouter. I thought about this for a hot minute, how fun it would be to just drive around the country, getting paid to find good places to eat. But then I thought about the other career I want, and decided it probably wasn’t the best idea to try and get a job that would end with me weighing about 350 pounds. Unless my 2nd career after that would be as a linebacker. Or a goalie.