It’s not really in the generous spirit of Thanksgiving, but my God do I laugh at this video of chicken-fried purveyor of heart-attacky Southern buttered villiany Paula Deen, taking a charitable ham to the face.

I’m sure Paula Deen is a super nice lady, and if it were a video of me getting face ham’d, she’d laugh too. It’s human nature. She got hers. I’ll get mine.

Trying to think a lot in a “What goes around come around” (Thanks, Timberlake) kind of manner. This would mean, that hopefully I’m due to come back around on the upswing any minute now. Maybe I’m deluded, but sometimes, especially around the holidays, delusion is a good thing to cling to.

Should I cut fringe in my hair?

Can I convince Priceline.com to essentially give me a free plane ticket?

What do you do when the person keeping you together starts to fall apart?

If you have the answers to any or all of these questions, keep them to your goddamn self. Unless you can get me a free plane ticket. I will be gladly accepting those.

 

Here is a picture of a tattoo of Wolverine riding a My Little Pony. It’s not my tattoo, though sometimes I wish it were. Sometimes.

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