Because Iron Chef America was doing “Battle Avocado” last night (and Avocado’s give me the vomits) I switched over to CBS for the Grammys – and I liked most of what I saw! Gaga and Elton were great, Beyonce and Pink were kick ass (though I would have been furious if Pink had gotten water on my expensive Grammy gown and hair!) and even DMB, who I had written off as a band for date-rapey frat boys, were really good.

But this morning, as I logged onto Facebook, everyone was up in arms about Gaga not winning album of the year! She won DANCE album of the year, which I think is still pretty damn awesome. I mean, I don’t think she’s staying up all night in her castle made of glorious lace, throwing kittens and glitter at the walls, screaming “Curse you Taylor Swift!” No no no. She’s doing the backstroke in her piles of cash (like Scrooge McDuck) and laughing all the way to financial security for the rest of her life.

(To the main titles from “Evita”

Don’t cry for her Lady Gagaaaaaa

The truth is, she’s still a big star

She’s loved by gay men

And single women

That’s all that matters

She’s still a winner.