It’s just after 1pm my time on this Valentine’s Day, and I wish a happy one to you and yours. Two things of interest have happened to me today, and they have made me pause to ruminate (that’s right – I can type and ruminate all at the same time – I’m a modern Girl Friday)

1. The roommate who I wrote that huge angry blog entry about just gave me a rose! A rose! (He also got the other female roomie one, so don’t worry, it’s not like that). I think he knows that he’s been grinding on my bad side recently. Gosh. I’m really kind of blown away. It was a really kind thing to do. For this, I must give him props where props are due (this doesn’t mean I’ll suddenly tolerate bullshit homophobic comments) and try and be a little cooler and more understanding. I put the rose in my old Nalgene bottle (because I don’t exactly carry vases with me in my travels) and am pretty sure that old bottle is gross enough to maybe be a permanent vase now. But it looks cute.

2. Last night, my dear friend called me late when she got off work and asked if we could grab dessert (she doesn’t drink) since she’d had a stressful day of dealing with assholes…including her ex-boyfriend who won’t just let her be. I told her to play the Kim Wilde “Set me free why doncha babe….” for him but I don’t think she caught the reference. Anyway. She was having a rough time of it. It was hard to see my friend so visibly saddened and upset.

And I looked down at my ring. Now, my Nana was a helluva cool little old lady, with wicked sense of style. She left to my mother and me a huge box of kick ass costume jewelry. Glorious earrings, and necklaces and charm bracelets and rings. But because my Nan was a much smaller lady than I, the rings don’t really fit me well. They’re too big for my pinky, but too small for my ring finger. And because they’re costume, it’s not really financially worth it to have them resized to fit. So I was looking at my sad friend and I saw her admiring the ring. I said “Hey, does this fit you?” and handed it to her. She slipped it on her ring finger like motherfuckin’ Cinderella. It fit perfectly. So I said “Keep it.”

At first, of course, she refused, but I told her about how cool my Nan was, and that I have other things to remember her by, and I think she’d be really pleased to see my dear friend, who really needed something nice to happen, wearing and loving her old costume jewelry ring.

So I guess my Valentine’s Day thoughts to you are that love and friendship are not material. They’re experiences and being able to support and lift each other however we can. Forgiveness and tolerance are small steps, but important to take. And if you have pale skin, and dark hair like me, wear red, because we make that shit look gooooooood!