Checking up on an acquaintance from high school (via that new box on Facebook that’s all “Reconnect with…” that’s such a fucking guilt trip), I found he has himself a new lady! A pretty one!

But when I clicked on HER profile it was a barrel of laughs! And not good ones. Oh, no. It was laughs like, “Your hobbies include ‘Living, loving and laughing? Excuse me while I reload.'” But my favorite part was her abuse of emoticons, especially the following:

8-)))))))))

Now, either this emoticon symbolizes how SUPER SMILEY she is, or that her photos are mad deceptive (like the old-school MySpace photos we used to take to make ourselves look mysterious, rather than fat and useless) or those are a lot of chins and she is the most corpulent mothafucka on the face of Planet Earth. Thoughts? Other stupid emoticons I should know about?

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