I completely forgot about Valentine’s Day! What kind of commentator am I? A very poor example, indeed.

*Sidenote: the right-side shift key on my laptop is broken. I’m infuriated. So if there are words that should be capitalized but aren’t, you can surely blame A) Dell computers, or B) sheer inertia on my part, because going for the left-side shift key is really throwing off my game* Be that as it may…

So my favorite commercial of the Valentine’s season has come from our friends at Kay Jewelers. A young, pretty, demure wife (with the sweetly high-pitched voice of a child) is cooking dinner for her man when he begins describing his love for her via conversation hearts candies. But then – my God – he goes off script and starts spewing seriously long sentences like “you’re everything I’ve ever wanted and I love you.” Conversation hearts are NEVER that complex. They’re usually something in the neighborhood of:

Wifey knows shit is up. So she tells him so.

“That’s not what it says,” she murmurs.

And that’s when he presents her with Kay’s Charmed Memories bracelet, or as I like to call it, the most bizarre and hideous janky-ass bracelet on this planet. It’s so ugly I can’t help but burst out laughing whenever I see it.

I understand it’s really the thought that counts. He loves her so he brought her a (comically unattractive) bracelet. And that’s sweet. I’d just like the commercial so much more if the last line was her saying “I think we should start seeing other people…”