April 2011


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When is a friendship really and truly over?

The answer, I discovered, is when someone you were already drifting apart from publishes heinously offensive things concerning people you care about on the motherfucking internet.

*Now, wait a sec, you might say. Aren’t you doing the same thing, by talking about it in your blog?*

Glad you asked that question, editorial voice in my head. Because I believe the answer is no. I’m going to explain why I’m angry, but not give any clues to my relationship with this former friend, or whom it was she insulted. Subsequently, you won’t be able to guess her identity. To the contrary, my former friendĀ  made it very very clear whom she was insulting.

I seriously couldn’t sleep last night, I wanted to verbally slaughter this girl so badly. I wanted to call her (but luckily, deleted her number before I could do harm) and let her know what a disgusting, useless, hypocrite she is. I wanted to let her know how vain and silly she is. I wanted her to know that if we ever cross paths again, she can look forward to a massive wad of my spit hitting her right in the face.

RAGEY, right? And that’s so completely not my style. After thinking of why this made me so blind with rage, I understood, it’s because this girl and I used to be close friends. I loved spending time with her. I stood up for her, stood by her, and was always happy to see her. When we grew apart, I was sad, but that’s growing up….but when this happened, I feel like I never really knew her at all. The cute, fun girl I thought was my buddy was just a dream. And all I’m left with is an alarming amount of hate in my heart, the kind that consumes your thoughts and keeps you up all night.

So I called my boyfriend and let all this out. Then I steeled myself for what would inevitably be the realization of his terrible mistake – he doesn’t want to date some Crazypants McRagemachine! Talented, handsome guys like him (who can cook like pro chefs) don’t need to put up with that shit. But he didn’t bolt. He invited me to talk about it, and listened to why I was upset. He’s kind of amazing like that. Also, seriously, he’s the most amazing cook in the world. He’s made me like eating salmon and brussel sprouts (!) and I would pretty much commit murder for the veggie tacos he fixed for lunch today.

Lesson? Friendships fall apart. People aren’t always who we thought they were, or who we hoped they would be. But it’s the ones who are left standing with us who will matter in the long run. Especially if they can make french fries from scratch.