June 2011


THEY’RE SO FLUFFY I COULD JUST DIE!

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If a product hinges its entire marketability on a single factor, then you’d think the product would be forced to deliver, no?

No. Apparently not.

That seems to be the case with Rimmel London 60 Second Dry nail polish, currently smudging up my digits in shade #230, Portobello Pink.

If you say you’re going to dry in 60 seconds (and especially if I allot you five minutes as a precaution) then you’d better do it, goddamn it! I paid 3 dollars of my very pathetic salary to have nails the color of a 1980s Malibu hooker! I want my money’s worth!

Did I also mention that my boyfriend and I are going through a patch so rough I’m relatively certain it’s over? And that I’m completely shattered about it?

But let’s keep this one to nail polish. I can’t talk much about the other one. I’m not there yet. I bought a fancy nail polish to wear to a dear friend’s wedding this past weekend and was hugely pleased with the results. That’s right, I dropped $20 on freaking nail polish, just because it was pretty and unusual and from a fancy French company. My nails looked nice. I’m ok with the decision.¬†Other decisions? I’m not so sure.

So….holy shit. Let’s take a moment here to observe Dame Maggie Smith, (Age 76, cancer survivor) newly minted action heroine.

This new one-sheet, for the final installment of the Harry Potter franchise, is truly the epitome of badassery. Allow me to simply draw your eye to the lower portion of the image, where the force of Dame Maggie’s magic throwin’ has caused copious, Dexter-esque blood spatters to scatter across her posters.

That’s right, folks. Classically trained actors don’t fuck around. BLOOD SPATTERS? Also, the strapline “It All Ends” is not only referring to the series conclusion, but also to your life if you cross Dame Maggie.