Hilarity


Sorry to have been away so long, friends. I mean, I have a job too (quitting soon, I promise) that tends to keep me away from my precious observations and commentary on life. But I’ve got a few things that have been sitting on the back burner (of the stovetop of my mind) ready to be served up hot to you.

So check this out. Random Acts of Badassness, straight from Lun-dun! Yeah. Innit. 

1.) Apparently Dame Judi Dench was nearly mowed down by a black cab while boppin’ around Shaftesbury Ave for play rehearsal (DJD totally bops). The cabbie yelled “Watch where you’re going you stupid cunt” to which DJD quickly replied “THAT’S DAME CUNT TO YOU!”

Heart beats faster. Her place as my idol as just been set in stone and covered in whipped cream and cherries. Well played.

2.) Though I do not condone acts of violence, I can’t stop laughing at this photograph of Jude Law ninja chopping some paparazzi lady as he left the theatre the other night:

SPL114882_004

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Jude says it was an accident as he was blinded by camera flash (which happens to me pretty much anytime a picture is taken) he just looks so rageful and Wolverine-esque that it makes me laugh every time.

“Can I take your picture, Mr. La-”

“SKA-DOOSH!”

(Chop)

“My neck!”

Just like that time I was getting a massage and the lady punched me in the neck. It was just to relieve stress, she said.

 

PS. I am not the mysterious woman having Jude Law’s baby. Because I know that’s what you were thinking.

….Titled How To Ignite Passion In The Bedwoom…..

 

For all you sexy talkers with unavoidable lisps.

Last night, my dear friend accidentally dropped a chicken wing on her beautiful sundress (if that’s not a classy sentence, I don’t know what is). Being very smart and savvy, she knew just what to do in order to make sure it didn’t stain…water, dab, dab, dab, don’t rub! But it made me think about a few other great moments in “Oh shit, I spilled on myself” history, including:

1.) 2 nights running of spilling both red and white wine on my white and black dresses respectively. I even made a joke about it the following night saying “Make sure you co-ordinate what you wear with what you intend to spill on yourself.” However, the audience was a different one than the night before (A blatantly obvious fact my brain just didn’t even factor in) so I had to quip “If you were here last night, that was really funny.” Truly, just to see the look of horror on my tutor’s face as I spilled the red wine on my white dress….which cleaned up fine, for those concerned…..was worth the price of admission alone.

2.) A birthday party years and years ago where I saw my beloved sibling drop a huge piece of pizza on the front of his nice white button down shirt. Maybe he has blocked the memory out, but just the look of defeat on his face as the pizza sat on his chest was so heart-breaking. I mean, I laughed my face off (because I am a little sister and that is what I do) but still, I felt for him. He changed shirts and the party continued to great success, but the pizza on shirt incident is burned into my memory forever more.

Got any great moments?  Share them with us!!

Georgia Hardstark, I salute you! You are a genius among women. 

And Dlisted.com, thanks for pointing me in her glorious direction.

I could write about the AMAZING CREATION that is Georgia’s McNuggetini (you read it right) but I think the author does it best in her own words and pictures. I want one of these. Immediately. And yet, I don’t. Because I know how sick it will make me. But I’m willing to take the chance, just to say that I did.

http://thisrecording.com/2008/04/08/in-which-georgia-gives-you-the-mcnuggetini/

I find it reassuring that the inventors of the McNuggetini are these really pretty, stylish women, rather than some frighteningly obese trash who just happened to throw vodka and barbeque sauce into the same cup as their chocolate shake.

So after reading Georgia’s very funny blog (you can find it on the page with the recipe) she linked me to yet ANOTHER culinary wonder, the chocolate whiskey and beer cupcakes. If you’re Irish, these would probably be called the “Boston Massacre Cupcakes” and if you live outside of the UK, then perhaps you’d call them “Car Bomb Cupcakes”. Either way, you have something that sounds both incredible and gross. I mean. Wow. I know what I’m making for my next birthday. Check it out.

http://smittenkitchen.com/2009/01/car-bomb-cupcakes/

The most HILARIOUS FUCKING PHOTO I have ever seen!!!!

Today I was suggesting to a friend that he watch the British show “The IT Crowd” when suddenly I thought – “I should tell everyone to watch it! Because it is awesome. Ooooh. I am hungry. Oh, damn, there’s no food. Damn Damn Damn.” And so my thought pattern went.

I was first exposed to the show by friends with excellent taste, whilst slightly high and full of gourmet pizza. This is the best way to view pretty much anything, but if it’s hilarious, so much the better. “The IT Crowd” is basically about the lives of two huge (read: great) nerds named Roy and Moss, and their computer illiterate/socially mobile boss Jen. It’s fantastic. Written by the same man who did “Father Ted” it’s just simple pleasure. In this world, Nerd is King and that’s the way I like it.

The characters are so well developed, and though the story-lines are never particularly earth-shattering (but then again, neither was “Cheers” and that show ROCKED) the little throw-away one liners are just priceless. Two examples:

Example One:

Moss: Chairman WOW! You just diffused that situation!

(I will now use that expression as often as humanly possible)

Example Two:

Roy: (singing) We don’t need no education….

Moss: Yes, you do. You’ve just used a double negative.

CLASSIC!!

Now, here’s the thing. NBC has remade a version of “The IT Crowd” keeping on board only the guy who played Moss (who’s fantastic) and replaced Roy with some dude and Jen with the lovely Jessica St. Clair. As much as I would like to think it would be awesome (I mean, I adore “The Office”) something just doesn’t feel quite right to me. I’m guessing it doesn’t feel right to NBC either, as it’s shelved the show indefinitely. So if you can get your hands on a DVD copy (or YouTube, whatever is convenient) it’s well worth a look. Even the opening credits are clever.

Sorry, guys. I’m too tired for creative writing today. But here is another funny video that makes me laugh.

Next Page »